‘How to Find Balance in your Life’
‘You CAN Have it All’
The headlines flash up on my screen as I read article after article and am left feeling like a failure.
Finding ‘balance’ seems to be like finding Nirvana for Mums these days, or so it seems.
But my life? My life is totally unbalanced.
Every now and then I wish to ‘have it all’, and have it served up in neat little portions, with everything nicely organised and perfectly ‘balanced’. But instead I live in constant chaos.
But perhaps the articles are wrong. Perhaps unbalanced chaos is not so bad after all? Perhaps balance is the last thing I need right now?
When I stop to think about it, I realise what I need right now is to live in the moment… This crazy moment, surrounded by piles of unfolded laundry, a house that is feral five seconds after I clean it and four kids who need me to be totally, utterly and chaotically, unbalanced.
Right now I choose to be unbalanced.
I choose to load the scales in favour of my children.
There are other things I juggle around the edges. Things like time to do stuff I enjoy, fleeting thoughts of a career, my marriage, my friends… But right now, when my kids are small that is where I choose to spend my time.
I am not always happy about it, in fact sometimes it frustrates me that I can’t just leave the kids and do things and go places whenever I want to. But I know it is not forever, one day the kids will be grown and I will have more time than I know what to do with… but not right now.
Right now I know I can’t ‘have it all’ and be sane and happy.
Right now I need to look at ‘balance’ in a new way. It is not about having equal portions neatly arranged, it’s about priorities, working out what is important for me (not anyone else) right now and figuring out how to make it work.
I choose not to buy into the hype. My marriage won’t end if I don’t have regular ‘date nights’. I will not shrivel up and die if I don’t carve out some ‘me time’. It’s ok to spend 90% of my time with my children, because that is where my life is at right now, that is my priority, and shock of shocks…. that is what makes me happy.
So I say “poo” to balance.
Balance is baloney… and I try not to feed my family too much of that processed crap!
What do you think about the idea that mothers should aspire to ‘balance’?
Can we really have it all? Should we want it all?
{image – that’s me, juggling broccoli provided by Ella’s Garden, at the Kid’s Business Bloggers BBQ recently. Photo via Kid’s Business on flickr.}
A couple of years ago I heard a speaker say that balance is unachievable so why torment yourself. He said it was more sensible to approach life by managing priorities (like you said). So now, even though I had hoped my business would be bigger by now, my house would be more tidy, my life more peaceful – it’s not! My kids are my priority and if that means the rest has to wait, then so be it. I love my messy life!!
Thank you…you are the first person who has made sense! I have recently dropped my hours at work to spend time with my daughter but feel bad that i’m barely contributing to the bills. for years i have been trying to work out how to have it all and your post has just switched a huge Ikea lightbulb on in my head and now it all makes sense. I have so much to be thankful for and right now its working!